Summoning the Princes of Coffee: A Purim Parody
The Jewish holiday of Purim celebrates the events recorded in the biblical book of Esther. It is a holiday of great merriment, traditionally with the wearing of costumes, feasting and the drinking of wine. Some medieval rabbis wrote short parodies of the Talmud, using the same language and style to create funny "spoofs", often involving discussions of drinking wine from silly names like "rabbi wine", "rabbi beer" and "rabbi barrel" for example. This got me thinking, wouldn't it be fun to recreate a magical adjuration as a parody as well? There are many adjurations for demonic princes over various reflective surfaces, why not coffee?! Although this blog is a serious blog on magical topics, I've decided, in the Purim holiday spirit, to compose an adjuration over the "princes of coffee" in Hebrew with an English translation! Enjoy!
Using freshly brewed coffee, take a black handled spoon and recite the following incantation over the cup of coffee while stirring the cup:
O Princes of Coffee, I adjure thee, Coffeiel, Caffeineiel, Arabicaiel and Robustael to answer my question. Answer me with the full strength of the caffeine in this cup and not in prevarication as the decaffeinated demons of falsehood are wont to do.
Gaze into the cup and Princes will answer your question. Then, bade them farewell and say: "Go in peace, as it is written my cup runneth over (Psalm 23:5)."
One may add some milk and sugar, but one who adds too much angers the Princes of Coffee and puts his life in danger [lit. his blood is on his head].
